Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
