I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
