You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize