so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
