Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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