covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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