If i come over, it means nothing
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
