have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
