God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
