i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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