My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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