Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
