Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I just googled if crying burns calories
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How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
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It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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