so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize