Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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