If you die in college, do you die in real life?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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