Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
MIDGETS
????
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
