a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize