how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
