i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
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I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
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Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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