If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
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