I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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