...so i touched it.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
