I showed him my bush... on skype.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
