I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
