Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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