I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize