Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Randomize
