Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
