Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
