When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
