i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
