My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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