I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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