I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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