yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
