Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
