Sponge bath it is.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
