I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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