Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
