he wants to bone in the snuggie
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
