Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
