people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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