I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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