I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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