I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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