I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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