I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
