dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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