You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
