He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
