his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Sorry about my life...
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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