I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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