doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
