On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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