Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
