I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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