I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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