i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I need water and some morals
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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