wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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