so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
