i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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