wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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