The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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