I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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