if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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