Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
