I think my fart just growled at me.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
She has the best kind of daddy issues
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
